4. Ideas Illustrated;

“What do you think about the credit crunch?”
I said.
“Don’t really affect me”.
He said.
I couldn’t believe it.
I said: “What?”
He said: “Nah – I’ve got a mortgage that tracks the –”
But I couldn’t listen to him any more.
“Alisdair”.
I said.
“You’re the Chancellor of the Exchequer mate – it affects you loads”.
He said “I guess”.
I said “You guess?!”
Then he shrugged and wandered back to the fruit machine.

This piece was originally published in the Money Issue of Ideas Illustrated.
Tim Key is a poet, performer and savant.
timkey.co.uk
Illustration by Jamie Brown.

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